Humour in Office Matters

The following are some selected humour on Office Matters.

• In office/work we must not be irreplaceable; if we cannot be replaced, then we cannot be promoted too.

• We can wander anywhere in and around the office as we like, provided we look serious and carry some file or paper.
• Whenever we go out of our desk in our offices, we must spread the table with files and papers; at any cost we must not keep the table clean and empty.
• We must never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one we are least interested in, and say nothing about the other/ important matter .

• In offices, when the bosses and higher officials talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• Anything and everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
• We must never delay the ending of an office meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
• To err is human; to forgive is not our company’s policy.
• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it is not the work he is supposed to do.
• There is never enough time to do it right the first time; but there will be always enough time to do it over again.
• If we are good, we will be assigned all the work; if we are too good, we will get out of it.
• In offices, people are always available for work in the past tense.

• If it were not for the last minute, no office work would be finished.
• In offices, the authority of a person will be inversely proportional to the number of pens the person is carrying.
• In offices, when we do not know what to do, we must fast and look worried.
• We will always get the greatest recognition for the job we least like.
• In offices, nobody gets sick on Wednesdays.
• In offices, the machines which have become out of order or broken down will work
• perfectly when the person/s for repairing the same arrive.

• In offices, we will dislike and will not tolerate,any kind of taking leaves and permissions, in the cases of all other employees, except those of our own.
• In offices, it does not matter what we do; it only matters what we say we have done and what we are going to do.
• In offices, the persons who attend the meetings and conferences will be the ones who should not.
• For salaried persons, after any salary raise, they will have less money at the end of the month than before the rise.
• At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional tothe number of pens that person is carrying.
• In offices, following the rules will not get the job done.
• In offices, getting the job done will not be an excuse for not following the rules, when questioned after something goes wrong.
• Nothing will motivate an employee more than to see his boss putting in a hard day’s work, which will be very rare.